One of my favourite people posted this video on her FB wall. Its not her video, but its very moving. My friends son has Autism, and people sometimes refer to him cruelly as a 'retard' or 'retarded' A word that is not tolerated in this country by many, but is still is in use in many places'
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Time is a healer
When my son was born, i knew i was going to breastfeed him. Absolutly no doubts about it, I had breastfed his sisters,the last two for 2years each. It came naturally to me, and i knew what i was doing, didnt i?
All went swimmingly for a while, then when he was 8 weeks old, i thought i had nipple thrush. The pain when he was feeding was toe-curling. I went to breastfeeding drop-in, and was given the all-clear for thrush but they did discover that steven had a tongue-tie. At 10 weeks it was released, and his feeding settled down a bit. Still painful but i figured he needed to relearn how to latch on, so gave it time. Except he was very slow to gain weight. I expressed and topped him up at each feed. Minimal weight gain.
I expressed fully and he was having 6 6oz bottles of EBM a day. still little gain.
I looked into loads of stuff about tongue ties and stumbled across this blog from the funny shaped woman. introducing the... 'hmm' I thought. And lifted Stevens lip. and lo and behold, a lip tie! I took this information to my health professions and felt i was fobbed off. I was diagnosed with PND, and i made the decision to put steven on formula.
Looking back i wish i had stood my ground with regards to his feeding issues and pushed for more help. I regret giving up breastfeeding, and if i was in the position again i would push for another referral to OMF to correct a lip tie as well as tongue tie.
I am slowly trying to comes to terms with not breastfeeding steven, its hard as every now and then he still nuzzles for the breast and i think about trying, but i know it would be hard work trying to relactate and i dont think my mental health could take another battering if it didnt work the second time round.
All went swimmingly for a while, then when he was 8 weeks old, i thought i had nipple thrush. The pain when he was feeding was toe-curling. I went to breastfeeding drop-in, and was given the all-clear for thrush but they did discover that steven had a tongue-tie. At 10 weeks it was released, and his feeding settled down a bit. Still painful but i figured he needed to relearn how to latch on, so gave it time. Except he was very slow to gain weight. I expressed and topped him up at each feed. Minimal weight gain.
I expressed fully and he was having 6 6oz bottles of EBM a day. still little gain.
I looked into loads of stuff about tongue ties and stumbled across this blog from the funny shaped woman. introducing the... 'hmm' I thought. And lifted Stevens lip. and lo and behold, a lip tie! I took this information to my health professions and felt i was fobbed off. I was diagnosed with PND, and i made the decision to put steven on formula.
Looking back i wish i had stood my ground with regards to his feeding issues and pushed for more help. I regret giving up breastfeeding, and if i was in the position again i would push for another referral to OMF to correct a lip tie as well as tongue tie.
I am slowly trying to comes to terms with not breastfeeding steven, its hard as every now and then he still nuzzles for the breast and i think about trying, but i know it would be hard work trying to relactate and i dont think my mental health could take another battering if it didnt work the second time round.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Keeping sane
Another week started.
Another week of stress.
And fun :)
First kicking off the fun was our grocery shopping being delivered this morning. The joys of having a large family is the shock on a delivery drivers face when he delivers to our house. The sheer amount of food is shocking to some, let alone when you factor in laundry detergents and the suchlike.
The driver must've thought we were ntters today with what he delivered. freezer stock, 2 carrier bags full of shower gels and shammpoos, 18 pints of milk, several loaves of bread, enough meat to have come from one pig etc etc.
But the freezer had been empty in the last few weeks, bar some ice poles for the children and emergency nuggets and chips (yuk). Its now full to bursting, and i had to put some in Ralphs freezer (the dog has its own freezer, yes).
The cupboards are now fully stocked inc pasta, rice and sophies staple of baked beans.
The fridge is also packed.
But the thing I'm stroggling to put away is the 10 boxes of laundry tablets. yes 10 boxes. why? because they were on offer, plus hubby has a 15% discoiunt this week instead of 10%. so we took full advantage of that.
So now, I have to find more room somehow in the kitchen this afternoon to get this all orgnaised.
Either that or get another washing machine and set up a laundrette in the kitchen....
Another week of stress.
And fun :)
First kicking off the fun was our grocery shopping being delivered this morning. The joys of having a large family is the shock on a delivery drivers face when he delivers to our house. The sheer amount of food is shocking to some, let alone when you factor in laundry detergents and the suchlike.
The driver must've thought we were ntters today with what he delivered. freezer stock, 2 carrier bags full of shower gels and shammpoos, 18 pints of milk, several loaves of bread, enough meat to have come from one pig etc etc.
But the freezer had been empty in the last few weeks, bar some ice poles for the children and emergency nuggets and chips (yuk). Its now full to bursting, and i had to put some in Ralphs freezer (the dog has its own freezer, yes).
The cupboards are now fully stocked inc pasta, rice and sophies staple of baked beans.
The fridge is also packed.
But the thing I'm stroggling to put away is the 10 boxes of laundry tablets. yes 10 boxes. why? because they were on offer, plus hubby has a 15% discoiunt this week instead of 10%. so we took full advantage of that.
So now, I have to find more room somehow in the kitchen this afternoon to get this all orgnaised.
Either that or get another washing machine and set up a laundrette in the kitchen....
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Crashed
Today has been hard.
The blackness has been there all day. cant shift it.
Sobbed earlier at the tangle of emotions this has left me in.
I WILL get better. I have to. I am an emotional wreak, and its not good for the children.
I love my family so much, and hate how much this must be hurting them. i am distant, sobbing and angry.
Hopefully they wont hate me in years to come for how I am now in this short period of time.
The blackness has been there all day. cant shift it.
Sobbed earlier at the tangle of emotions this has left me in.
I WILL get better. I have to. I am an emotional wreak, and its not good for the children.
I love my family so much, and hate how much this must be hurting them. i am distant, sobbing and angry.
Hopefully they wont hate me in years to come for how I am now in this short period of time.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Ow!!
two weeks ago i fell over outside the house. Splat on my side. I hurt my hand and wrist but iced it and it seemed ok.
On Monday the hell-hound tripped me up. And I fell again on the same hand.
Today my hand is really sore, so i went to A+E. They have deemed it ok, no breaks etc, so just to try and keep it moving. Hardly hard to do with 5 children to look after.
Feeling a bit sorry for myself, so will drown my sorrows in a cup of tea and a starbar in a bit :)
On Monday the hell-hound tripped me up. And I fell again on the same hand.
Today my hand is really sore, so i went to A+E. They have deemed it ok, no breaks etc, so just to try and keep it moving. Hardly hard to do with 5 children to look after.
Feeling a bit sorry for myself, so will drown my sorrows in a cup of tea and a starbar in a bit :)
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Plaster on a smiley face and all will be ok.
Woke up to Steven giggling away, which is always a good start.
The housework can wait, it will still be there later (probably to my long-sufferings husbands annoyance hehe).
Today we went to Positive beginnings play session. I hate the name of the group, to me it implies that if you dont go then you wont be giving them a positive beginning, ack. But its good for messy play, painting, garden play and they grow veggies there as well. We came back with some runner beans for tea. Sophie painted four paintings, made some playdough (which i think some other child took home, but not to worry as we have loads here anyway which i made in the holidays), played with rice krispies, and REFUSED to sing. She had her grumpy face on and woe betide anyone who looked at her, they got the evil death stare from her. lol.
Steven slept through a lot of the session but woke towards the end to play with Felicity and Ethan.
So today seems better, not the best, but better. Which is a bonus.
The housework can wait, it will still be there later (probably to my long-sufferings husbands annoyance hehe).
Today we went to Positive beginnings play session. I hate the name of the group, to me it implies that if you dont go then you wont be giving them a positive beginning, ack. But its good for messy play, painting, garden play and they grow veggies there as well. We came back with some runner beans for tea. Sophie painted four paintings, made some playdough (which i think some other child took home, but not to worry as we have loads here anyway which i made in the holidays), played with rice krispies, and REFUSED to sing. She had her grumpy face on and woe betide anyone who looked at her, they got the evil death stare from her. lol.
Steven slept through a lot of the session but woke towards the end to play with Felicity and Ethan.
So today seems better, not the best, but better. Which is a bonus.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)